Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Whew.. that's over!

Wow, this last quarter just about killed me. I was taking OB theory, and clinical, Senior Seminar, and Externing, I was extremely involved in CNSA, and a research study at school. Not to mention I was working out 3 times a week at 0600 AND still working my 2 night shifts in the ICU. I have no idea how I survived. Point is I did. Unfortunately I got my first B+ in theory since the first quarter 2 years ago. But the main consolation to that was that nobody scored higher than a B+, sad thing is, my final grade was 89.5... OH WELL!!


So I've officially completed quart 7 out of 9, the first of my last year in nursing school. I am a senior!! This next quarter I'll be taking Senior practicum, and whatever else I choose!! How exciting. So in case you don't know, senior practicum is a course where you go and do 108 hrs where you want to work when you graduate (all based on placements and first request honored etc). My love has been the ICU, however that is not where I am doing my practicum.


I was asked by my mentor to do senior practicum with her and her students. I will be a teachers assistant and go to clinical with her class and help 2nd qtr nursing students on the floor. I must say, I'm actually kind of excited about this. I remember my senior students who helped and they were awesome. They made me more confident and made my clinical experience much better. I hope I can do this for these students too...


We shall see, school starts next week. I'm taking 15 units, an upper division course, painting, and senior practicum... I think this quarter will be nice : )

Monday, August 23, 2010

My life's calling?

I'm not sure if this occurs in every nurses life but I believe there is a time when you realize what you were meant to do in life. Nursing hands down is my life's calling, but I think I've found a more specific destiny. I want to educate the world on end of life care.

Last night when I worked in the ICU an ABC (Act before code aka Rapid response) was called to the floor. I went along and it was a older woman who was struggling to breathe. They believe she has severe lung disease and has been in the hospital for 2 weeks now. As the patient is struggling to breathe the ABC team is initiating interventions. The necessary step was intubation. The patient was tired of struggling to breathe but did not want any treatment. As she finally agrees to the procedure the team leaves to prepare and I'm left in the room with her. I explained what was going to happen and question her about her feelings on what was going on. Overall she was very distressed and in my opinion "gave in" to what the team wanted her to do.

I held her hand and comforter her, assured her that she would not be awake or in any distress and that this would procedure would allow her body to heal and rest. She seemed to still be uneasy with the decision, which was hard. I began to tear up and explained to her that I can understand how frightening this must be, and that she would be in good hands with us in the ICU.

We called her daughter and explained the situation. She didn't live in town and agreed that intubation would be best and she was on her way. We then transferred her to our unit and intubated her. Her daughter arrived with her husband and they visited the patient after she was intubated and comfortable. They then left to head home because it was late and she appeared comfortable. About 2 hours later the patient coded.

During the code I performed chest compressions. This poor woman had a very frail chest and the required strength for compressions was not much. After 3 minutes I switched out. I asked her nurse if we should call the daughter and discuss terminating the code. She agreed. We called the daughter and she said "Do what ever you can for as long as you think is necessary".

What kind of help is that? Her chart had stated that changing the patients code status had been discussed a few days ago but no decisions had been made. Therefor CPR continued. As my next turn approached to perform compressions I stepped up and began, the patients chest was sunken in. You could no longer feel the ribs but what may presumably have been her back. After 1 minute I had to excuse myself from the situation.

After we resumed a rhythm she maintained it for a few minutes and we discovered she was in PEA (pulseless electrical activity) and resumed CPR. Having been personal friends with the ER physician responding to the code I reminded him that the family had said to terminate when we felt it was over. He joked and thanked me for being "the conscience on his back". He ended the code.

A few minutes later the family arrived. I brought them into the ICU and the first thing the daughter said in a matter of fact tone was," I don't want to see her, I'm just here to sign any paperwork". No tears, no distress, she was very much at peace with what happened. Her husband on the other hand was not. His eyes were bloodshot and tears were filling up. I reassured him that I also had been in this same situation and told him that she was very peaceful with the situation and I explained to him that I talked to her and held her hand prior to the intubation. He told me the story of her illness and it seemed ever so familiar.

The family thanked us endlessly for being so kind and that they were very gracious for all of our work. After they left I had to excuse myself from the unit. Everything was all to familiar and I couldn't control my emotions. After some "therapeutic communication" with my friend (another nurse) I resumed work. Reflecting on the situation all I could have wanted to change was the manner in which we coded her.

What 80 year old woman with such co-morbidities who had been hospitalized for weeks needs to be coded? Have you ever seen any patient over the age of 65 recover with any quality of life from a code?  I haven't! As I spoke to my friend we discussed the alternative of dying as you "gasp for breaths", I debated that it doesn't have to be that way. Palliative care is a beautiful thing. This collaborative team works together and uses medicines and therapies to make death painless, peaceful, and with dignity.

How many nurses out there actually know the facts about palliative care? Would you feel comfortable advocating to your patients and their family to choose an end of life care that would allow them to be freed from unnecessary testing, medicines, and treatments?

I believe my mission is to learn, practice, and educate others about Palliative care, the importance of advance directives, and discussing that "difficult conversation" with your family. I had a professor during my Med/Surg rotation who was ever so adamant about these things and taught us about "End of Life Care" and I'm thankful for that. It is my mission to continue her teachings but to take them to the next step.

I'm not a nurse yet, but I'm passionate about this. It's never to early to start working on your life's mission and I plan on starting now.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Working during nursing school

Hello everyone, this past week has been especially rough for me. My grandpa is in the intensive care unit because of a medical error and I've gone to be with him. However, rather than dwell on this right now, I've decided to distract myself and explain my experience with working and being in nursing school. Hope this helps some of you who have been considering it.

As you all may or may not know, nursing school is rough. I'm not talking the kind of rough where you have to study for a hard test the night before, I'm talking the kind of rough where you wonder what life was like before you entered hell... when you can't remember NOT reading hundreds of pages a week... the kind of rough where you don't necessarily freak out that you forgot your phone for the day, but you panic because you haven't done nearly enough flash cards or practice questions (even though you've done HUNDREDS) prior to an exam.

Let me start with a background about Sylvia prior to nursing school. In high school I wasn't the smartest kid, I HATED homework and therefor I didn't do it. Come college I seemed to have found my niche. Going to lecture and reading was more my style of learning rather than homework assignments. I completed my pre-requisites for a BSN program in 2 years, however due to a little slacking on my part, I did not complete my final one til summer, so I was forced to wait a year to start the program. Meanwhile I worked part time in an emergency room as a monitor tech/clerk (sat/sun 7pm-7am).

My first quarter of nursing school was not too bad. I took assessment, pathophysiology and nursing basics or something (you know, learning about nightingale and all those gals). Patho on the other hand was rough. I had a professor who believed that he knew more than the text books so I learned to translate his lectures to notes. I actually dictated his lectures word for word, picture for picture. I didn't have much time to study, every spare hour I spent in the library looking over notes, and studying. The weekends were essentially off limits because of the constraints of work.

I honestly believe that I would have done better in my courses with more time to study... I did get 2 A's and a B in patho, but I could have done a lot better if I had the luxury of the weekends off from work. This quarter however was only the beginning of my battle of school and work.

I struggled prior to nursing school with a mean boss. It was weird, we had never had problems before and I had been on a set schedule for quite a while, but the week prior to clinicals started my boss all of a sudden decides that I have to work night shifts during the week. I explained to her that this was not possible, I had clinical during the week and I could not be awake for such an extended period of time AND be expected to safely take care of my patients. This turned into a long drawn out ordeal. She told me verbatim "I did not hire you to go to school, I hired you to work for me." Anyways, long story short, I ended up having to get the union involved and they helped me secure my schedule.

As time passed and the program progressed, it became harder and harder to work. A main problem I had was during finals. I had my first extremely difficult final and asked to have the weekend off prior to the exam. By this time I had a new boss and her answer to that was, "well, if you can find someone to work for you, then you can". This wasn't easy, in fact it was impossible. We already had 2 people on sick leave and there was nobody else qualified to handle my job. So what ended up happening? I worked.

I do not believe in calling in sick just because I have to study. A lot of people say, just fake sick, school comes first. Well, unfortunately you are only allowed a certain number of "occurances" and when that number starts to climb, your annual evaluation shows just how "sick" you've been.

Spring quarter of my first year I started to really feel the stress. I began to ask around the hospital if there was a job that only work 8 hours, or would allow me to take more time off. I strolled over to ICU one day and talked to their charge. She let me know that quite often, the monitor techs who work ICU have to be "flexed home". So this sounded great! The next thing I know I'm being pulled into the managers office and she's hiring me!

My transfer to ICU was not only a blessing but a challenge. Not only did I have to learn a new job, but I would be working nights on the weekends. Now don't get me wrong, I love nights, but imagine waking up at 5 am for school mon-thurs and then switching around to waking up at 5 pm fri and sat. The switch to ICU did kill my circadian rhythm but it allowed me to take time off for my studies. My new boss in the ICU always said, school comes first. Amazing! What a concept! Not only did she encourage me to take time off to study for exams but she constantly asks, "So, you're going to work for me after your graduate right?" Perfect! Not only did I find an accommodating job, an excellent manager, but a guaranteed job after I graduate.

This kind of situation doesn't happen everywhere. I have to make sure that I work my minimum 48hrs/2 wks in order to maintain benefits which are quite necessary. Some other benefits to working during nursing school in a hospital: endless resources. Have you ever not understood something? When it was time for critical care I was lightyears ahead of my class mates. I had only worked about 6 months in the ICU but my mind was a sponge! Nurses LOVE to teach you things, and occasionally give you opportunities for hands on learning (DON'T DO IT! Always remember your scope of practice).

A few other benefits include networking with potential employers and tuition reimbursement (3,000/ fiscal year as long as I pass my classes with a C or better!

In the end, if I had the choice to work during nursing school as a CNA/ Clerk/ Monitor tech/Central supply tech, whatever, would I?

Yes and no. It does provide me ample opportunity for learning and growth, but it also has given me considerable amounts of stress. I often wish I would be able to focus on my studies more, and even have a life. Unfortunately I have to work for financial reasons, I typically don't have time to relax and go out with friends. I am always juggling work and school and finding every moment I can to do one or the other is difficult. But it also has helped my learning during the program because of what all I'm exposed to.

So, in the end, you have to decide what's best for you. How well can you juggle your life? Are you able to force your studying to be during the week only? Can you handle the stress? Could you imagine not having a weekend off before an exam? If you don't have to work during nursing school, then I would strongly urge you to keep it that way. If you're dying for a little experience consider casual/per diem positions that typically do not have minimum hours/pay period requirements.

If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask. I've survived 2 years of this, 1 more year should be as easy as pumpkin pie!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Ammonia cures all

So I'm sitting here watching house and a scene comes on where the doctors are checking a patients level of consciousness  (they've suddenly gone unconscious). They place a pen cross-wise against the patients finger and bend as hard as humanly possible. Try this on yourself. It hurts like hell. This scene reminds me of an inmate patient we had. I'm walking down the back hall and all of a sudden the people near the room say, "Nurse Nurse!! Come check on him, he just slumped over!" So I go by and said patient is slumped over in the bed, I rock his shoulders to try to arouse him. Nothing. Next, I do a sternal rub, nothing. I'm looking at the monitor, HR is normal, SpO2 is normal, BP is normal, Pleth shows good wave form, what the heck?!

So I yell at his nurse to come look at him. He comes over and does other various painful maneuvers to try to arouse him. Nothing! So we get the dr, who asks us to bring 2 packets of ammonia. The doctor then tries to arouse him with similar techniques and no response. I'm puzzled, what is going on? Did the patient have stroke? Did he go in a coma? Next the doctor places a rebreather mask on the patient without oxygen. The nurse comes in and has the 2 ammonia sticks. The doctor orders her to break them in half and he places them both inside the mask.

An entire minute goes by with no response. I'm standing there puzzled, what is going on? Then I noticed that there was no longer steam in the mask from his breathing. He begins to cough and choke. Vomit is spewing out and he's thoroughly pissed.

The doctors walks out laughing. What is going on? I ask him, so what does that mean? He says, "he's full of shit and faking."

Ooh.

I seriously was dooped. I felt stupid, I had fallen for a patients attempt to be "unconscious" and avoid going back to the prison. Honestly, I felt I was more seasoned than this. I retold this story to a professor of mine who is an ER nurse and a psych nurse. She explained that yes, I had fallen for an age old trick, but that I would never fall for it again. I just thought this was funny. Next time an inmate wants a trip out of the prison, they're gonna have to hold their breath for a lot longer than 1 minute.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Feeling lighter ; P

So, nursing school has no doubtedly given me some extra stress, and the extra stress has lead to more studying and less working out... which has lead to a larger tire around my waist and a lower self-esteem. It's funny, self-esteem has never been something that I lacked... In the past 2 years (since I started the program), I have gained about 30#... and that has bothered me. I never wanted to be super skinny, I know it's not possible with my build, but I did want to fit into my clothes I've outgrown. It would be nice to walk into a clothing store and never worry about if their size will fit you. Well since the nursing program has started it's only gotten worse.

As the years have passed, I kept saying that when the program was easier I would dedicate more time to healthy eating and more exercise. Ironically, I LOVE veggies and fruits. Chocolate, cake, ice cream, candy, doughnuts do NOTHING for me. You would think I'd be as thin as a rail. However, with the added stress of the program, my desire to fix the foods I enjoy has gone out the window. I then began to settle for convenience (quick, portable, and effortless i.e. fast food).

These bad habits have got me in trouble, my pant size is enormous... (maybe one day when I get down to my ideal weight I will tell you)... and I feel disgusting. So I recently found out that I have a genetic condition that alters my metabolism and other various aspects to my body.  My hormones are "outta whack" and it only adds to the problem. My PA believes that my weight gain is 50% bad eating/no working out and 50% metabolic disease. So he wants to start me on glucophage (for you non-nursing it's a diabetes medication that helps with glucose metabolism {I do not have DM but it helps for people like me}) Well he hasn't done this yet because I've been having some stomach problems...

These stomach problems have lead me to alter my diet. Basically can you imagine having diarrhea for 3 months? Well I did and it sucked. I thought I may have a lactose intolerance so I began to cut dairy (100%) out of my diet... this lead to no cheese, milk, yogurt etc which was shockingly a large part of my diet. With this new change I began eating differently, choosing different options, which ultimately were healthier options. As I began to feel better I thought about making it permanent. Healthy eating is not difficult, but only takes effort. And the funny thing is I like this much better!

I began to essentially count calories and make better choices. I do not count vegetables into my calorie count because I don't believe in limiting what is naturally healthy, and fortunately for me, what I love. This has been going on for about 2 weeks. With inspiration from  BadEmma by reading her blog, I've began my own journey. Her facebook collection of food is inspiring, and has helped me unleash some new dishes that I love and are super healthy. Thanks lady!!

As of today I am 10lbs lighter. Its a start, I don't quite see it yet, but people are noticing. Plus, I feel better, I don't feel guilty anymore and honestly just enjoy stepping on the scale and seeing my progress.

I wrote this to not only give you insight into my life, but to hold myself accountable. I've put myself out there so expect updates, and if you don't see any (or read any on twitter) then send me some words and remind me LOL...

My goal for this summer is to be down 30# by September 11th... wish me luck!

Anyways, this is lengthy, but necessary... good times and happy healthy living ahead : P

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Happenings

So, it's as if I blinked and it was thursday again... this week at work (university) has just flown by and that's good and bad. It's good because it means the boss is coming back from vacation on Monday, but bad because I don't nearly have all my work done for her before she gets back... What to do? Today I was supposed to finish my main project, but the pre-nursing advisor stuck me with a project that took ALL DAY! apparently what took me 6 hrs to do would have only taken her for... but she said, "thats why I have scut-monkies for"... fabulous. Anyway I told them I have to get my other project done tomorrow no matter what. They agreed.

Another good thing about it being friday is that next week I'm going to VEGAS!! I'm so freaking excited for this. A few nurses from my unit and I are headed to go to a Critical Care symposium which is just a bunch of fancy classes that prepare you for the CCRN (critical care registered nurse).. I am not taking those courses, I'm taking the interesting ones like, "I've got a bad feeling about this patient" and "heading off complications of multiple trauma"... sounds amazing right?? Well trust that I will have my handy dandy lap top taking some killer notes!!

Other than that.. not much going on... I do really like the iPhone project 365. It's a cool picture a day type project with my new iPhone 4... just an excuse to bust out some photography skills.

Since it is 3:40 am I guess I'll head back to sleep. Today I need to go register for initial ACLS (GASP)

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Update

My oh my how a lot of things have happened this past quarter. Spring qtr must have been one of the worst ones I have ever had. My course load was rough, I took Psych theory/clinical (easy) along with Nursing Research (horrible!!). Psych was a piece of cake, thank god, but research was killer. The main problem was that it was online. What a horrible class to teach online!! I understand it was done that way because of budget, but honestly, I think it made learning incredibly more difficult than it had to be. Research is not the kind of course that you can essentially "teach yourself". The instructor was the our department chair, and was very enthusiastic about the subject, however, she did not have the time to devote to it that was necessary.

In the end, I ended up with an A-... Not quite sure how I pulled that off, but I did. My GPA is climbing ever since I got in nursing school. It's a shame I never cared about it before. In other news, I have been finally diagnosed with my hormone imbalance. It ended up me demanding to go to a specialist down at Cedar Sinai and many drives down there for testing. I've officially been diagnosed with congenital adrenal hyperplasia (a mouthful right?). Basically I have a genetic defect that causes a problem with adrenal synthesis of certain andorgens. So my adrenal glands are trying to make cortisol, but can't very well. So they try harder, and end up putting out more of all the other hormones (testosterone, DHEA, 17-OHP). This leads to excess hormones and they are essentially killing my ovaries. The main problem is going to be having children (if I will ever be able to because my ovaries are pretty damaged from all the excess hormones) but we will cross that boat when it comes. Right now I have to take birth control to protect my ovaries (weird right?). And when I want to have children I'll have to be on corticosteroids to suppress my adrenal glands. At least I have a plan. Many kudos go out to my primary care provider, who is a PA & NP, because if it wern't for him, well when I tried to have kids they would either be deformed, or not be possible.

What else? Well, this past quarter I got offered a position to work in the department as a student assistant to the director. It was quite an honor, the position only makes 9.50/hr but it's extremely easy! I just help her with random assignments. I love it. The most recent thing is organizing her office. She is new to the chair position and the past 2 chairs have basically left all the paperwork in a royal mess. So thats where i come in. I have been making endless file tabs and organizing everything. I'm ALMOST done.

Also, I worked on an article with 2 other nursing professors. My name will even be on the byline!! We submitted it to ADVANCE for nurse practitioners for publication. If it gets published I will be stoked! Other than that, not much has been going on. I'm basically working like a mad woman trying to stay busy.

That's it for now...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

It's called SPRING BREAK!

Heck yes.. I survived!! I've never been so happy before! This quarter has been so draining on me. I hate to use my medical problems as an excuse for my lack of attention.. but I am. This past week I got my results back. I really would like to know what the dr thinks because I am definitely not a textbook case. By clinical presentation, I would say cushings. By one lab, I would say adult-onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia, by looking at all the labs I'm thinking an adrogen secreting tumor. But only an endocrinologist can put it all together and figure out WTF is wrong with me!

So... the next big appt is on the 29th, which also happens to be the first day of classes. All I can hope is that this qtr does not turn into the last. This last quarter I was very very lucky. I have no clue how, but I pulled off an A-. Nobody pulled off an A, which surprises me. This quarter wasn't exceptionally hard, but extremely busy with tons of projects. WHATEVER! It's done!! Why am I still thinking about it?! HA!!

So... I am pretty happy to say, it is spring break and you can damn well believe I'm going to enjoy it. Later peeps

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Exam tomorrow!

So why am I on here? To procrastinate of course!! I must say, I'm sure scared for my clinical eval tomorrow. I've never been scared before (well scared because I think it's going to be bad scared). This quarter I just wasn't on my game! Having all these health problems and other personal drama just did not mix. I think if I didn't have all this health crap going on, then it would have just been like any other quarter... but having been told that I may need surgery up through my nose in around my brain is scary!!

No excuses though.. I'm doing well academically... I have a 88% in Theory (which is not good by my standards, but I'm shooting for a 90% by the end of this quarter) and who knows what in clinical.. I've got nothing lower than a 91 on all projects... so an A- ?

Don't you find it frustrating thought that when you take difficult instructors for the challenge, and others take the easy instructors, they end up with the higher grade? I know, it's not ALL about grades... yea yea


Okay... so I'm getting back to my studying... I just drank a cup of coffee and I'm thinking I've got another 2 hours of studying left in me : D

night ya'll

Friday, March 12, 2010

Some news..

So, my Endocrinologists' office woke me up this morning... which is good for 2 reasons. One, they gave me my lab result news. It's funny, I messed up by not taking the dexamethasone for the suppression test because they didn't explain the directions clear to me, so I had to retake the test. Well, that wasn't the funny part, but I had to go back for another lab slip and retake the test about 2 days later. They call me to tell my that my cortisol came back high, so I reminded the lady that I didn't take the dex and that she should prob tell the dr because the test is invalid. So she says she'll call me back.

Apparently the dr said that the level was still too high for being a standard level and wants me to continue on with the testing. SO what does this mean? More lab test.. Lucky me gets to do a 24 hr urine collection... SERIOUSLY? I get to put my pee into my fridge. What a total inconvenience!! I pretty much can't leave the house for an entire day. WTF. I really wish I could just be admitted for all this crap. Along with the pee, they want spit. I get to wake up at midnight and... SPIT IN A CUP. I swear, endocrine is some weird stuff.

So my dr still thinks it's Cushings... the part that I struggle with is that based on my research, my labs are in the upper normal range. I know I'm not a dr, but I like clear cut lines... and my case isn't clear cut. I think I should just leave the diagnosing to my dr...

Okay... back to studying

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Patience is a...

Whoever said patience is a virtue must have not been a nursing student! Seriously... I have never been a patient person. If I want something, I get it. I want a new camera, I get a credit card and buy it. Apply to nursing school? Heck no I'm not waiting for a letter, I've got insiders to tell me I'm in much faster... And now, I've applied for some highly prestigious nursing scholarships and I'm dying to know who got them. Now, this is not a scenario where I'll get the inside scoop... and it kills me.

 Next thing is I took my big blood test. The one that will start the chain of tests to determine what kind of tumor (if any) I have. Now, I reallllyyy want to know the results! Like, now!

So, I sit here waiting... "patiently" trying to pass the time by occupying my mind with ATI, and finals, and exams.... being ever so patient, like the proper girl my mother taught me to be. HA!

And now, back to studying for my PEDS exam...

PS: this is a painting I painted... It seems appropriate for Peds : D

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Adios kiddos!

Yesterday was officially our last day of Peds clinical!! What a horrible quarter! It's not the kids I didn't like, and I really got to liking my professor... but those horrific nurses!! I swear, yesterday I got ripped a new one for not knowing more than the side effects for an IV administration. It's not my fault I had 30 minutes to prepare for this patient... AND after she ripped me the new one, I looked in my Peds drug book and none of the info she was ripping me for was in there!! It was in the IV drug book... WTF!

It's difficult to learn in an environment where nurses treat you like bacteria on a sterile field. So, to the end of hell I say good riddance! Heres to hoping Psych next quarter will be infinitely better than Peds...

My favorite quote of all time: "Let the best of your past be the worst of your future" - unk author

Saturday, March 6, 2010

doing good!!

So I must say, things are going well!! I finished that long care plan, after I threw a 2 year old temper tantrum... Then I survived last night, I missed my sleep for the sophomore orientation and had a decent night for not having slept!! I almost made it the whole night without sleep BUT my amazing charge nurse let me go home early. I did waste time yesterday buy purchasing my Canon DSLR Xsi!! So excited for this!! There was only a few left at costco so thank god I went yesterday!!

Today I was up a few hours early and finished one of my two nursing scholarships. I'm planning on working on the second one tonight... the second one is the one that's going to be difficult to write. It has a word limit with 4 main objectives to hit!!! Crazy! Well right now I have jumbalya cooking on the stove and it smells amazing!! So, I'm going to go finish that then get ready for work tonight... here's hoping for a few codes and some excitement!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Procrastination

What a horrible thing to do so close to the end of the quarter. Count down is 2 weeks until finals!! Not only finals but our last exam + final is in the same week!! Isn't that just cruel? Well I've been up and down, trying to deal with my recent dr visit plus the stress of a Long Care Plan while working part time and trying to be a sane person. Chances are something is going to go.

So I went to my dr a few months ago and one thing led to another and he thinks that I have a pituitary tumor. So I go to an endocrinologist who thinks I have cushings disease. GROSS. All I remember is from Med/Surg how nasty the picture of the cartoon guy with Cushings look. But I agree, I gained 30# in one year, plus other nasty changes. So my endocrinologist has a whole gamete of labs for me to do do exactly diagnose what I have. Exciting scary stuff if you ask me. So to add to this is the stress of school.

I need to get on top of things, get in buckle down mode, go balls out! Unfortunately I'm taking on more than I can chew again. Instead of sleeping in like I want to, I have to go to the new incoming class' orientation and speak as a junior representative. Like I'd rather be sleeping!! I work tomorrow night... It's going to be miserable. WHATEVER... so I better finish this damn long care plan so I can perhaps function tomorrow night... wish me luck

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

finally good

I think so far every day this quarter I have been un-happy. I have yet to wake up and feel good, or even look forward to the day. It's funny that I never noticed this before. Until yesterday... when I woke and felt good. It's the kind of good when you can take on anything, when you feel happy to go to lecture (Not a typo) and when driving even seems nicer. Feeling that way made me realize how unhappy I've been and hopefully how happy I can be from now on. I'm not sure what caused this... but I like it. I even went to the gym yesterday, which also made me feel good.

I guess I have to keep this up... well tonight I've got clinical and I'm so excited for my patient!! She's got chickypox!!! I'm not sure what it is about chickypox but I am sooo excited to take care of her! In fact, everyone in my clinical is super excited. Okay... well I think I'm going to go for a bike ride, then get ready for clinical... Hope you have a wonderful day!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Update

So.. talked to the higher ups, my mentor to be exact, and learned the truth behind my "non-invitation". It's all good! Basically I'm as good as guaranteed in next year. The nice thing is that I was a discussion between the faculty, which makes me feel better. And I even came up during clinical about how much I deserve the invitation. Sad thing is, people assume that I was invited, so all the "invitees" are texting me and are like, so you get invited? Next I get to say, no, I wasn't.. and deal with the whole "What?? Why not?"" Seriously people? Whatever

On a good note, it is the weekend, or at least my form of the weekend, which means, work. Such a nice relief from school... so for now I say farwell

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sigma

SO... Sigma Theta Tau (STT) invites went out today... and I'm sad to say I was NOT invited... At first I was extremely upset about this. I think I was one of the few who actually wanted to be invited, was interested in participating, and it actually meant something to. Well, the qualifications are to be the top 35% of your class, & demonstrate leadership. My overall GPA for the past 5 years is a 3.1. My nursing GPA is a 3.8. I got the highest grade in the toughest class (A- for critical care) AND scored the highest on our ATI comprehensive medical-surgical final (99% in the nation). But, overall I am not with the highest GPA.

This sucks. I'm hurt. The person who has a part in the decision making told me last quarter than no doubtedly I would be invited. Was I? No. I'm active in the department. I am on 3 committees for faculty. I volunteer for events. I am the president of my class. I have a part-time job in the ICU... WHAT ELSE??

I feel like all I've done is for nothing. But that's a bit dramatic I know... I am thankful though after talking to my friend. She was in clinical today and some how I came up and the clinical & professor said no doubtedly I should get one... that she'd be shocked if I didn't. So that makes me feel a tiny bit better. Maybe all I do isn't unnoticed? Oh well, I do what I do for myself. Not for anyone else. So at this point in the day I must say I feel okay with the situation. Thank god for good friends!!

okay, bed time for me... night all

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Sick

So, it seems as if our rotation on Peds has got everyone sick with a stomach bug. Now this could be unrelated to our rotation OR it can totally be caused by the filthy little bug breathers. I personally choose them as being at fault. It looks like a nice chunk of our class has the stomach flu right now. What a horrible thing to have. I personally had it about 4 weeks ago... nasty thing. I've never had it before and it hit me HARD! Full liquid diet if even that. But after about 5 days I was over it.

Tomorrow is Peds test #2... I'm not super scared... but I am a little. It's a ton of material and instead of studying right now, I'm writing this... oh well. I just haven't been able to fully wake up this morning so I'm hoping this gives me the encouragement to go take a shower and start studying...

This week is going to be busy again. Tomorrow I have lecture, then a meeting, then SIM lab, then I have to go to the hospital to pick our 4 patients for team nursing THEN I get to write up all of their information... jeeze. I think that's the busiest part. Hopefully I'll have everything done so that on tues I can sleep in before clinical (I have a 3pm clinical)... that would be soooo nice!

As my 5th yawn for the past 5 minutes just hit, I'm thinking I should go shower... that should wake me up....

Friday, February 19, 2010

Group projects

Words cannot begin to express how much I hate group projects. What is it about sharing work for a grade that induces laziness?? It's funny, I don't think I've heard of one group that worked well together. Everyone in our class seemed to be frustrated at other people's lack of initiative and laziness. I thought I had a good group, boy was I wrong... We did our project on internet safety, quite an interesting topic. However, my group wanted to go home the weekend before it was due. Priorities people!!! Forget that we haven't done a poster board, forget that we haven't planned our presentation, just got home and spend 4 days with your "Valentine". At least he will still be there for you after you fail out of the program.

Sorry to rant, but I just wish that this project was a solo job. I guess it's a valid representation of what future group efforts in nursing will be like. Who know's when the grade will come out, we did do a self/group evaluation that was "private", but I didn't blast my partners. I think in the end the product was good and we shouldn't get less than a B+.

Oh well, I guess I should get back to studying for Peds... FUN

Sunday, February 14, 2010

H1N1

So I'm kinda excited.. I was quoted in a local newspaper on H1N1 and the decline in interest for vaccinations. Interesting subject I think. I've done a lot with the flu this season, I've participated in 2 flu clinics.. helped run 1, from the beginning I helped with planning and was the right hand person for the nurse in charge, such a great learning experience. Then I participated in a local flu shot clinic where I actually got to give shots.. that was nice : D

As of right now I just got off work. I'm super tired and really just wishing to sleep for the next 3 hours before church. Today I've got to get together with my group to finish our group project and then tomorrow it's back to school. This week is going to be super busy, I've got my long care plan to do AND we have an exam on monday and I've read NOTHING... gotta change that fast... alright, that's all for now...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Things you hear

I'm not sure if it's just my lack of sleep or that I was feeling in a fighting mood but today I may have challenged my boss (who is also my mentors mom...). Today in our staff meeting our director said that to improve codes it was necessary to remove family from the room to the waiting room. I was shocked... how often are we told that family needs to be present for multiple reasons?
1. for purpose of the families mentality
2. to remind families that patients who are dying are human beings
3. I can't remember I'm still tired
Anyways, she proceeds to say that they need to be removed and something in me snapped. I said, "you are undermining everything they teach us in nursing school"... she then goes to retract her statement and clarify that families from other rooms in the ICU are to be removed and that the family in the coding patients room should be moved to the door area to allow room and then for a nurse to explain what's going on to the family (which is what they teach us)....

Thinking about what I've said now, I kinda feel stupid... how dare I say something like that to my boss... and in front of everyone... wow... I need to watch my mouth

oh well

it's bed time people. night

Monday, February 8, 2010

Just an update

So it has been a loong time since I've last blogged and it's time for an update. First off I passed critical care : D I finished with the highest grade in the class and on our comprehensive med-surg Final given by ATI I found out I ranked 99th% in the nation which is a huge accomplishment. I worked extremely hard but nearly lost my mind in the process.

During CC we hosted a community immunization clinic while following FEMA guidelines as a mass disaster mock drill, similar to what would happen if the community needed mass medication for a terroristic event.. anyways the whole preparation for the event was phenomenal. I was able to work side by side with my mentor and learn a load about planning. It was an experience to be remembered.

After that was over and CC was done I spent a month long winter break working my tail off. I'm sure tons of interesting things happened but I haven't the memory at this time to recall them.

This leads me to where I am now. I was recently diagnosed by my PMD with a pituitary tumor and adult onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia. For those of you who aren't anatomy savvy, your pituitary is directly in the center of you brain (but isn't your brain). As for this adrenal disease I'm still in the air about it. I've got an appt to see an endocrinologist but that isn't til March, and I've been waiting since January. All this has been quite over whelming. I've been going to dr visits and lab tests and MRIs weekly and its quite taxing on me.

This quarter has started and in fact, we are actually half way done. I'm kind of scared because I feel so behind. We've had a huge APA research paper and another huge APA teaching project done in the past few weeks and I've got to say it's all getting to me. I know this is nursing school, and that it's hard, but to add medical problems on top of that isn't easy.

So I leave you here now, it's 1 am and I should go to sleep, class is at 9:30 and I still have to study for the quiz. My theory is take it one day at a time, use my planner to make sure I don't forget anything, and it will all work out...

ya...
 
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